Bertie Ahern - some very dodgy friends...

Ha!!! So Monsieur Bertie Taoiseach!!!! Aha!!!! Its all coming out now itsn't it!!! My god!!!

So lets look at the facts...

You've taken lots of cash (HUGE amounts of cash) from friends/business associates/etc in the early 1990s (well that's the only time frame that we are currently aware of).

But none of this is ILLEGAL (even though he was the fucking finance minister at the time). However, maybe we need to look at all of this in the context of the time. Lets face it - Charlie Haughey screwed a hell of a lot more money out of people, so perhaps Bertie's accepted money was "small fry"!!!!

However, perhaps this is only the start of the scandal? What about Bertie and Jackson Way? How well does the Cosgrave family know Bertie (Peter Cosgrave and family of Cosgrave Developments?) Are there any dodgy rezoning deals hidden in the past? Are there any OTHER dodgy property/planning deals hidden in the past? Lets face it:

WE WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'VE BEEN UP TO YOU DISHONEST LITTLE MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BERTIE NEEDS TO COME CLEAN NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pissed off and My favourite song (currently)...

I just re-read the pompous, condescending reply to my previous blog and couldn't quite believe how calm my response was. I should have told Hylonome what a complete arse she was. I've been far too nice so far to people.

Hmmm...

Ok - on an upbeat note, I am currently obsessed with Johnny Cash's Hurt - if you haven't heard the song you MUST listen to it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vln5C8kholg&search=hurt%20johnny%20cash

One of the best songs I've heard in years. I'm rather old and cynical these days so its good when something gets through to me.

See you round!

General rant...

Ok, I know I've not been very regular at updating my blog. Many reasons. Perhaps I should come clean about a few things.

I'm a depressive. I have major periods of depression, suicidal sometimes. Then wow I feel good for long periods. I'm afraid I may be bi-polar. I'm afraid to go to my dr to find out too... LOL.

I've lost almost half my body weight. I'm now 150lbs (10st 10lbs) and I started off at 20 stone. But I'm afraid that it may be all down to having an eating disorder. - OK this is actually a major confession. I'm coming out of the closet. And anyone who knows me may be shocked... I vacilate between being COE (Compulsive Over-Eating) and EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified). I have long periods of almost Anorexic tendancies. Sometimes, slightly bullimic - I have binged/purged - I know - not good any of these things.

I'm at a cross roads in my life. I actually feel more empowered than I ever have in my entire life. I feel very much in control of my weight, my psyche. However, I feel that I'm not on the right track. I'm very unhappy in my marriage (major confession time here)...shall I publish this or not - I think I should be true to my self and publish...

I'm very interested in Wicca. Either Seax-Wica or Dianic-Wicca - I'm still learning, studying and researching. Anyone that wants to contact me with any comments about these, do feel free. I'm leaning towards solitary eclectic Wicca - but that is only because I don't know anyone else who is Wiccan. I'm not sure what tradition suits me yet.

Ok - enough ranting - I will post this now and hope for the best in the coming days!

PREJUDICE - A word over-used - under-explained - Bi-Polar & Manic Depression

"Oh my God! He was completely manic!"
"The man was a total Manic Depressive!"
"Talk about a complete schizophrenic!"

Are these expressions we have used? Are they prejudices we may all be guilty of?

I have, and I am. Yet I have friends who have schizophrenia. I also am the child of a manic depressive or someone with Bi-Polar disorder.

I am ashamed of him. I admit it. Yet, I fight my prejudice every day. Why? Is it because I want to vindicate the mentally ill? Is it because I suffered from Post Natal Depression and know what its like and want others to accept it as "just another illness"? No.

Its because the prejudice extends to me. Its like being half black, half white. There will always be a portion of society who are prejudiced against me, because I have "tainted" blood. Not that being black is any indictment. But there are those who see it as one. Just as being a child of a mentally ill person.

Oh by the way, most bi-polar patients/manic depressives are not STUPID, but are actually GENIUSES. I myself have an extremely high IQ (no I'm not boasting - its actually not fun). Its horrible THINKING all the time. Its horrible knowing that most people don't get it...

Most of all its horrible knowing that your father was in a mental institution for thinking that the KGB was after him and that a satellite was planted in his head in the early '70's but that you were kept in the dark until you were 15 years old in the mid '80's.

Most of all its horrible knowing that you hate people saying things about mentally ill people like they are sub-human. Like having a mental illness somehow makes you less than 100% entitled to complete human rights and respect as a human being. Its almost like knowing a lot of people think that you prove that abortion is right.

Its a very sad time of year for some and a very joyful time for others. Perhaps we can make sure we spare a thought or a prayer for those who are members of our family (the human race) yet feel that they are outcasts, just because they are too sensitive and too intelligent.

God bless you all and God preserve the sanity of those among us who cannot help but think on a higher plane than most of us and yet get vilified for it...

Merry Xmas.

Xmas spirit, not like it used to be? Alcohol on the streets...

These days its more likely to refer to a bottle of Scotch, or a crate of alcopops. What the hell is wrong with everyone these days? Does no one know how to behave themselves when they've had a few drinks? Or were things the same years ago, but we've forgotten and we're looking through rose-tinted specs? Is it just that there is CCTV everywhere and it all gets broadcast on TV 24 hours a day to make us feel more nervous?

I dunno...maybe I'm just getting old...I can't see the point of getting bladdered to the point of oblivion any more, but then I'm not 22 any more!

Let me know what you think...

Irish Republicanism - dead or just in hibernation?

Do you have any republican sympathies? Perhaps your family came from Ireland originally and you have quite strong views about the peace process? Are you a Republican or a Nationalist? Do you know the difference?

I was out tonight for the first time in quite a while for nothing but a drink in a local pub. It suddenly became obvious that the singer hired for the night was a republican. Ok, fine. I have a lot of sympathies with the problems that have been encountered with the fight for a united Ireland over the years. The act began with a couple of republican songs that I knew well and I didn't mind, however the songs became more and more bigoted and I started to feel uncomfortable. Then I realised the reason. Republicanism, as it was, a branch of extremist feeling that had ended in so many lives being lost on both sides of the Irish divide, should in this day and age be dead. But it isn't.

The marching season has just begun in the North and already there are injuries and riots and fights. No-one has looked at the historical background for any of these and called a halt saying, "perhaps in the 21st century we can find a solution!"

No-one had said, "perhaps our children are more important that bigotry?"

Unionism is to blame as much as Republicanism. It is EXTREMISM on both sides that has caused the problem.

Does no one remember the days of Apartheid in South Africa? Perhaps things seemed more "black and white"? (no pun intended) Perhaps everyone should look at the children in various parts of the planet and suddenly realise that prejudice of any sort damages a community.

Perhaps we should all realise that we actually should all want the same thing - not division - but unity and peace. Perhaps we should all just cop ourselves on!

Big is NOT beautiful!

Under Drs orders I have now embarked on another diet! I seriously need to lose about 7 stone. But I have set my target at 5 stone for now. (For those of you across the pond a stone equals 14 pounds). Yes, and before you say it - I know - I'm grossly overweight and I need to cop myself on! Well I think I have this time. I don't want to be a middle aged fat woman whilst I'm in my thirties! I'm still young and I still want to feel young and look young.

I am increasingly annoyed by the "big is beautiful" campaign. I am big, and even though I know that beauty comes from within and that people shouldn't judge by appearances, its not about OTHER people! Its about how I feel about myself! When I'm overweight, I don't feel beautiful, I don't move beautifully and I sure as hell don't look attractive in the clothes I wear. Now I know that there are those of you out there who will immediately try and shoot me down for being so negative. But perhaps we all need to be honest and say that being FAT is NEGATIVE! The majority of people do not have a medical reason for being overweight and the only reason they are overweight is because they overeat. I hold my hands up and say - this is me! And every other fat person out there should stop making excuses and admit to this as well.

It doesn't matter how many people try and bully us into believing that its okay to be fat, at the end of the day, its not okay. You increase the risk of heart disease, stroke, hardening of the arteries, cancer and numerous other diseases. This isn't scare tactics by the diet industry, this is medical fact! We all know that smoking is bad for us - even those who don't want to give up know its not doing them any good. Well being overweight is exactly the same. It is BAD for us! It will make us ILL. Just because you don't want to be bothered to lose weight and you don't care that you might get ill doesn't make the risks any less. Its not a choice that your body makes, it doesn't say - well my owner thinks its okay to be fat so I don't need to get any fat related illnesses! Please - wake up and smell the coffee!

I've suddenly realised that no-one will help me and no-one will do this for me. I need to do this for MYSELF! I have to WANT to do this. I gave up smoking a year ago when I realised the same thing. And now I am applying the same philosophy to losing weight.

I have already lost one stone (14 pounds) and am fitting into a smaller pair of jeans. I am still very overweight but I feel so much better in myself for a couple of reasons:

• I am eating less and this in itself is preventing me feeling bloated and tired
• I am already able to move more freely because of having lost a small amount
• Psychologically I feel fantastic, because I am finally in control of the way I look

I don't have unrealistic goals. I don't expect to be wearing a bikini in the next few weeks. I just want to take control of my life and become a young woman again, not a young woman in an old woman's body!

An update for you: I have now lost 4 stone and I'm looking great! I'm ahead of target!

Is Yours an Honest Babysitter?

If you are a parent, you will know just how difficult it is to find a responsible babysitter who will respect your house and that you can trust your kids with. If you're like me, you have been through several avenues in order to find one. Firstly, I would like to say that I found one fantastic babysitter who is 15 and with whom we have had no problems. She is lovely and responsible and we're so glad we found her!

However, I thought that I needed a back up babysitter. I knew that at some point my regular babysitter would be doing exams, or needing to compete in sporting events, etc. So I thought it best to find an alternative that I could use in this event. Oh boy was I lead a merry dance! I advertised on the internet (the responses that I had never actually turned up for appointments that were made). I asked everyone I knew. And then, I advertised in the shops in town for a local person who was responsible and experienced in babysitting. One person didn't show up - am I getting old, but does no-one feel the need to be courteous and let you know if they can't make it anymore these days?

Then I got a reply from my ad in town from a 19 year old who had done babysitting for the local hotel. I arranged to meet her and she turned up for the appointment on time and looking keen. She gave me a reference and I told her that we would arrange for her to babysit in a couple of weeks. I was feeling very pleased with myself for having finally got my "spare" babysitter! I should not have relaxed!

I telephoned the hotel and spoke with the manager who gave her a good reference and also said that her mother worked at the hotel and was a good worker too. I was happy, but there was one mistake that I made that I will elaborate on in a minute. She arrived to babysit as arranged and on time. I showed her how to use our telephone and showed her the two mobile numbers that my husband and I could be called on if she needed to contact us.

We went out, had a lovely meal and were back quite early. I dropped her back home in my car and paid her for her time. Everything seemed fine. I checked on the children and was unhappy to see my 2 and a half year old outside of the covers which indicated to me she hadn't checked on him as instructed (once you cover him up again - he stays like that until morning!) But I was prepared to let it drop and just impress on her the need to check on them next time she came to us.

Later the next day, I went to use the telephone. Our telephone is a cordless model that stores previously dialled numbers on it, like a mobile. I scrolled through the previously dialled numbers as I wanted to phone my father in the UK and knew I had dialled his number the day before. I was horrified to see a load of numbers that were not dialled by me. I checked with my husband who confirmed he hadn't used the phone at all the day before. I saw that out of six unknown numbers one was an international mobile number. I contacted my phone company who told me the time of the calls and the cost came to approximately 7Euros.

I immediately phoned the babysitter who said she had been meaning to tell me... oh and the other excuse was that she had called the numbers by accident, she hadn't meant to, blah blah blah. I told her in no uncertain terms that if I couldn't trust her with my telephone, I couldn't trust her with my kids and that I now have no idea what she was up to in my house whilst I was out. She could have had her boyfriend round or anything. I told her she had messed up what could have been quite a cushy number for her as we pay higher than most for a babysitter. We weren't going to use her again and I would not be keeping quiet about what she had done.

Perhaps it seems that I overreacted to a few phone calls. Perhaps you would have dealt with this differently. However, my children are my life. It is so difficult for parents to trust people these days with the horrible things happening all over the world to children. I need to know that I can trust my babysitter with my childrens lives and welfare for the few hours they are in their care. If I lose trust in one aspect, I lose all trust.

The one mistake I made when checking out her references was that I didn't check with the Gardai. I have now heard that both her and her family have been in trouble with the police before. In future, I will be phoning the Gardai first, before any other reference I am given. I just thank God that my kids are okay and it was only a few euros that she took.

Take this as a cautionary tale and do your homework...

Shooting Criminals - criminal?

In the news yesterday I was so pleased to hear that the Gardai had foiled the plot of an armed gang to rob a post office. Then I heard that they had shot two of the raiders. One died at the scene and one died some time later in hospital. I didn't much care. I think that I'm a fairly caring person, but when someone uses violence, they should expect to reap what they sow! I listened to the radio and heard that most people seemed to agree.

Later on the evening news the reports were questioning the Gardai's methods and local people were saying that they should have been warned. One woman said that they could have pretended like it was a gas leak or something! Cop yourself on love! Like the robbers wouldn't have got wind of people being evacuated and taken the hint! The whole point was to catch the scum bags, not to warn them!

As as to two of them losing their lives, so what? I personally don't think that life is cheap, but these robbers and others that seem to run around the country with impunity, obviously do. Well lets see how cheap they think life is now! There's always those who will start spoutg on about human rights, etc. But they never stop to think about the human rights of those who lose their lives whilst in pursuit of their law abiding jobs. I was personally robbed at knife point in a post office back in 1997 in Dublin, so I'll tell you now, if an armed Garda had been hand and had shot one or more of these scum bags, I wouldn't have lost any sleep. As it was I lost a lot of sleep knowing that they were still at large in the city.

I personally would like to shake the hands of those courageous Gardai who were involved in the sting operation and tell them to keep up the good work. They put their lives at risk each time they partake in one of these operations. They deserve a medal, not vilification.

The law seems to have lost its teeth in recent years and its good to see it getting some of them back...

Women's Health and Ovarian Cancer

Okay first I should say that I have first hand experience because my mother died of ovarian cancer in 2003. I am still really shocked at the swiftness of the illness. From diagnosis to death my mum only had 10 months. It is still very hard to think about it sometimes, but I need to get this off my chest because it is an important issue for all women.
How many of you have heard of ovarian cancer? How many of you know how it is diagnosed? How many of you think that it can be diagnosed with a smear test? I was completely ignorant about this illness when it was discovered, there is a real lack of public awareness, yet this is one of the most deadly of all cancers! Perhaps you think I'm being a scaremonger because my mum died. I hope I am, I hope I make at least one person sit up and think! My god, this is a cancer that CANNOT be diagnosed through the use of a smear test. Even though it is connected to all of those “woman's bits” it does not show up with a smear test.
In the early stages there are hardly any symptoms and those that there might be are usually put down to other things. No-one expects the Spanish Inquisition and no-one sure as hell expects to get ovarian cancer. It creeps up on you and by the time it is diagnosed you are at stage 3 or 4, which means, basically, that you CANNOT be cured. Very few women who get this illness survive because so few get diagnosed early.
I CANNOT believe that in this day an age that no-one has stopped to think about additional, high profile, well publicised research into this illness. I know that research is continuing, but surely, one of the points should be that women are alerted to the dangers and that ways of checking women for this illness through, perhaps a blood test, as a standard procedure at the same time as they have their smear tests and mammograms. Cervical cancer can be cured before it is actually even cancer. Abnormalities in cells are detected and treatment is given to the woman that means that she never actually develops the cancer. Brilliant! But early detection is needed for other cancers too!
I am not decrying or belittling the research that is done by all the dedicated scientists out there, they are already doing so much good. But surely funds are desperately needed for research into the early detection of extremely deadly cancers as ovarian cancer. Its a scary thought that by the time a woman has realised that something is wrong, she's already dying!
My mother only realised that something was wrong when she was having problems breathing. She would get out of breath very easily and she realised that there was a problem. It was discovered that she had fluid on the lungs. This is a very serious symptom of any illness and cannot lead to any good news. So when I did research about fluid on the lung on the Internet, I realised that the prognosis was not good. However, I had no idea that it was due to ovarian cancer. My mum died a very painful death and I feel that everything should be done to alert women.

Driving in Ireland - death on the road

So many issues rush through my head! So I'm going to give you the main points and then expand on them below.
1. The roads are crap in Ireland. They are third world standard. They are full of pot-holes and dangerous.
2. Drivers in Ireland don't seem to think that they should have to obey ANY rules of the road.
3. The law is an ass. Can't put it any more succinctly.

ROADS - The so-called Celtic Tiger didn't do much for the road system in this country. Certain roads have been built or upgraded, but this only seems to happen around Dublin or a major city. Rural areas are rural less and less these days, the amount of traffic that these roads have to contend with is increasing immensely. Main roads to relatively important towns are actually crumbling away. One stretch of a road in Mayo, which is a main road to a very well known town is actually getting narrower and narrower as the road physically crumbles back into the bog. Yet buses and lorries travel this road every day several times a day.

DRIVERS - I am always disgusted with the attitude of most drivers in this country. They seem to think that rules should only apply to everyone else. Temporary traffic lights at road works are almost completely ignored by a large section of drivers. The majority of drivers seem to think that it is okay to speed no matter what speed limit area they are in. Basically the attitude is that – the rules don't apply to me! The worst offenders are drivers of 4x4 SUVs. I make no apology for generalising. I am a driver, with a full licence, no points or convictions, in fact I've never been pulled over or involved in anything. However, every time I see a driver of a SUV they are speeding and/or intimidating another driver, by driving far too close. They seem to want to force everyone else off the road. They have no consideration for the safety of other road users and they piss me off. Why they have to drive on top of the rear numberplate of every vehicle on the road I have no idea. Its actually ironic that most SUV's are not as safe as standard cars and are not as easy to control, contrary to what most of the moronic drivers seem to think. They are always the first to overtake on a solid white line or on a corner, etc, and while I don't give a damn if they want to kill themselves, I strongly object to them putting the rest of us in danger too.

THE LAW - The law IS an ass. My god, they can't seem to prosecute anyone for any traffic offence any more. There are more loop holes in the law than pot-holes on the roads, and that's saying something. For example, the fact that someone cannot be done for speeding unless the equipment that has clocked their speed can give them a print out or some permanent record of the speed. Oh my god. Does no one have any sense of responsibility any more? Does it not matter that we should respect laws? Does it not matter that hundreds of people are DYING on Ireland's roads every year?
Obviously not...